When I was a child, and even as I grew into adulthood, my mom would always say, “Mind your manners” as I headed out the door. It was her gentle way of reminding me to represent myself well, to be respectful, and to make good choices. She even continued this tradition with my own children, passing down those same values with love and consistency.
Phrases like “Mind your manners” or “Make good choices” may seem simple, but they carry powerful messages. They serve as gentle nudges that help youth remember to act with kindness, respect, and thoughtfulness—qualities that are essential in building strong relationships and positive self-image.
Why Manners Matter
Manners are more than just polite words or gestures—they’re the foundation of respectful behavior. They reflect how we value others and ourselves. Good manners show consideration, empathy, and social awareness. In contrast, poor manners can come across as disrespectful or dismissive.
But here’s the truth: children aren’t born with manners. They learn them through observation, experience, and guidance. And just like any skill, manners take time to develop. Mistakes will happen—that’s part of the learning process. What matters most is consistency, modeling, and reinforcement.
Helping Youth Learn Good Manners
If you’re wondering how to help your child or teen develop respectful behavior, here are some practical and effective strategies:
1. Model Positive Behavior
Children are always watching. When adults consistently use polite language and respectful actions—like saying “please” and “thank you,” holding doors open, or covering their mouth when sneezing—they set a powerful example. Use manners with everyone, whether it’s your partner, your children, neighbors, or strangers.
2. Explain the “Why”
Don’t just tell kids to be polite—explain why manners matter. Be specific about which behaviors you expect and in what situations. If they ask questions, take time to answer. Share which manners are most important to your family values.
3. Use Polite Language Yourself
Simple phrases like “excuse me,” “hello,” and “thank you” go a long way in teaching children how to interact positively. These words help build a foundation for respectful communication.
4. Offer Gentle Reminders
Before heading into new or unfamiliar situations, remind children what behavior is expected. Role-playing can be a fun and effective way to practice manners in different settings—like meeting new people, attending events, or dining out.
5. Praise Good Manners
Reinforce good manners with praise. A simple, “Thank you for using such good manners,” lets children know their behavior was noticed and appreciated. Positive reinforcement encourages them to keep it up.
6. Read About Manners Together
Books are a great way to introduce and reinforce respectful behavior. Here are a few favorites:
• Time to Say “Please”! by Mo Willems
• How Do Dinosaurs Eat Their Food? by Jane Yolen
• How Rude!: The Teenagers’ Guide to Good Manners by Alex J. Parker
• How to Behave and Why by Munroe Leaf
Visit your local library and explore more titles that teach kindness, empathy, and etiquette in fun and relatable ways.
The Bottom Line
Manners may seem old-fashioned to some, but they’re timeless tools for building respectful, thoughtful, and confident youth. By modeling good behavior, setting clear expectations, and reinforcing positive actions, we help children internalize manners that will serve them well throughout life.
So the next time your child heads out the door, don’t hesitate to say, “Mind your manners.” It’s more than a phrase—it’s a lifelong lesson in respect.
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References:
Gibson, Kate. “Quick Tips for Shaping Good Manners.” Kurtz Psychology, 22 Sept. 2021, www.kurtzpsychology.com/quick-tips-for-shaping-good-manners/.
Microsoft Copilot. (2025). Teaching youth manners: Revised version of original draft. Edited content provided to Gayle Whitworth-New. Microsoft.
“National Good Children’s Manners Month.” National Good Children’s Manners Month, 26 Sept. 2018, www.roe9.k12.il.us/o/roe-9/article/64229.
Vidakovic, Frances, and Frances VidakovicWith a degree in psychology. “Teaching Manners – List of Good Manners for Children.” Inspiring Mom Life, 22 Aug. 2025, www.inspiringmomlife.com/teaching-manners
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