Relationships are wonderful and difficult at the same time. When it comes to love and money, sometimes our judgement can become clouded. Our emotions can override our rationality or our trust becomes misplaced. While we hope for the best, some gentle reminders about protecting yourself from a financial loss due to a relationship are warranted. Watch this video to learn more about Love and Money.
As always, the UF/IFAS Family and Consumer Sciences experts have additional resources on this topic. Here are hyperlinks to the supplemental resources noted at the end of the video:
- 9 Important Communication Skills for Every Relationship
- Healthy Relationships
- Relationship Change
- Relationship Problems – Domestic Violence
- What is a Healthy Dating or Marriage Relationship?
Enjoy practicing your listening so you and your significant other communicate better. This can lead to fuller, stronger relationships. You can be the kind of couple that builds solid futures together. The added benefit is that modeling these good behaviors helps those around you learn what to expect in their future relationships.
Here is a fun, thought-provoking list of questions to ask each other that I stumbled across years ago: 20 Questions To Ask Each Other Before You Get Married
DO NOT attempt to answer all 20 questions in one day!
Choose one question at a time. Each partner has a turn to answer. Listen to hear, not to respond. Use good and polite communication skills and keep in mind these are only discussion topics to bring up situations that could cause friction when people make assumptions.
- What percentage of our income are we prepared to spend to purchase and maintain our home on a monthly/annual basis?
- Who is responsible for keeping our house and yard cared for and organized? Are we different in our needs for cleanliness and organization?
- How much money do we earn together? Now? A year from now? Five years? Ten? Who is responsible for which portion? Now? In one year? Five? Ten?
- What is our ultimate financial goal regarding annual income? And when do we foresee achieving it? By what means, and through what efforts?
- What are our categories of expenses? (Rent, car payments, clothing, insurance, travel, etc.) How much do we spend monthly, annually, and in which categories? How much do we want to be able to spend?
- How much time will each of us spend and work and during what hours? Do we begin work early? Do we prefer to work into the evening?
- If one of us doesn’t want to work, under what circumstances, if any, would that be okay?
- How ambitious are you? Are we comfortable with the other’s level of ambition?
- Am I comfortable giving and receiving love sexually? In sex, does my partner feel my love for him or her?
- Are we satisfied with the frequency of our lovemaking? How do we cope when our desire levels are unmatched? For a night? A week? A month? A year? Or more….
- Do we eat meals together? Which ones? Who is responsible for the food shopping? Who prepares the meals? Who cleans up afterwards?
- Is each of us happy with the other’s approach to health? Does one have habits or tendencies that concern the other? (e.g. smoking, excessive dieting, poor diet)
- What place does the other’s family play in our family life? How often do we visit or socialize together? If we have out of town relatives, will we ask them to visit or stay with us for extended periods? How often?
- If we have children, what kind of relationship do we intend for our parents to have with their grandchildren? How much time will they spend together?
- Will we have children? If so, when? How many? How important is having children to each of us?
- How will having a child change the way we live now? Will we want to take time off from work, or work a reduced schedule? For how long? Will we need to rethink who is responsible for housekeeping?
- Are we satisfied with the quality and quantity of the friends we currently have? Would we like to be more involved socially? Are we overwhelmed socially and need to cut back on such commitments?
- What are my partner’s needs for cultivating or maintaining friendships outside our relationship? Is it easy for me to support those needs, or do they bother me in any way?
- Do we share a religion? Do we belong to a church, synagogue, mosque or temple? More than one? If not, would our relationship benefit from such an affiliation?
- Does one of us have an individual spiritual practice? Is the practice and time devoted to it acceptable to the other? Does each partner understand and respect the other’s choice?