Believe the red flags! Many people who enter into a relationship ignore important signs on whether to end a relationship. There are definite deal breakers that need immediate attention and other breakers that can be more subtle. Either way, both are warning signs of an impending unhealthy relationship that is causing the common symptoms of a bad relationship…. feeling constantly tired and worn down. The University of Florida Extension IFAS publication, “ Are You Marrying the Right Person? Healthy Signs and Red Flags” , offers these TOP 25 checklist of red flags.
Does your partner?
1.Have extreme views on political, family, religious, or world affairs?
2.Encourage you to develop your talents and progress, or do they want to keep you hidden in a closet, away from the rest of the world?
3.Allow you time for yourself, or is your partner possessive?
4.Encourage you to have your own interests, your own life too?
5.Allow you to spend time with your friends, or is your partner jealous of your friends and the time you spend with them?
6.Compare you to past boyfriends or girlfriends?
7.Take an interest in other people, or is your partner selfish with his/her time and pursuits?
8.Exhibit behaviors that suggest that the world revolves around him/her?
9.Exhibit behaviors that suggest personality faults such as deep insecurity, excessive jealousy, uncontrollable temper, and inflexibility?
10.Exhibit character flaws such as being condescending, or lying, cheating, stealing, arrogance, etc.?
11.Fail to admit mistakes and can never admit to being “wrong?” (Note: If your partner fails to see mistakes now, he/she won’t be able to see them or admit to them later on in the relationship either. Look for humility and meekness, but personal confidence, as well.)
12.Often exhibit negative or critical traits?
13.Complain about your family or spending time with your family?
14.Seek to build relationships with your family or does your partner lack the skills to do so?
15.Have difficulty relating to his/her own family? (Note: This is a huge red flag that your partner will have difficulty in his/her own family relationships later on.)
16.Enjoy work or is your partner prone to laziness and irresponsibility?
17.Have the television on all the time at his/her apartment or home?
18.Criticize your personal appearance?
19.Tell you that you need to lift weights, go jogging, or join a health club?
20.Make fun of your weight or other bodily traits?
21.Verbally, physically, or emotionally abuse you?
22.Tear you down and then try to come back a few days later as “Mr. Nice Guy,” promising that it will never happen again?
23.Need to make major social or emotional changes in his/her life?
24.Promise that he/she will change after the wedding?
25.Have some of the same goals, dreams, and aspirations as you do?