By Carol Church, Writer, Family Album
Reviewed by Heidi Radunovich, PhD, Department of Family, Youth, and Community Sciences, University of Florida
When cancer or another serious illness strikes, we turn to family for love and assistance. If the person affected is married, his or her spouse is surely one of the most important support figures of all.
In some cases, though, spouses don’t end up serving as a long-time source of help–because the cancer diagnosis is followed by separation and divorce. Indeed, though it may seem surprising, divorce rates are about the same among couples affected by cancer as in the general population.
Disparities Between Male and Female Patients
However, one oncologist noticed a striking pattern among the marriages in his practice. It seemed to him that when a patient undergoing cancer treatment did divorce, it was almost always a woman. With this in mind, he and other researchers put together a study looking at over 500 married patients who had been diagnosed with either brain cancer, another form of cancer, or multiple sclerosis. Patients were followed for about four years, though some passed away before the study’s end.
During that time, about 12% of marriages broke up—not an extremely high number. However, in almost 90% of these break-ups, the affected patient was female. In other words, very few marriages ended when the ill partner was the husband, but quite a few did when the ill partner was the wife. What’s more, when the cancer was in the brain, divorced or separated patients showed worse medical outcomes than those who remained married.
Support Crucial for Partners
This study did not track who chose to begin divorce proceedings, so it’s impossible to know who wanted to end the marriage. (In the general population, more divorces are initiated by women than men.) However, other research does suggest that some men find it quite challenging to assume the caregiver role when their partner becomes seriously ill. This may be due to longstanding societal norms about men and women and who will nurture the family and shoulder home responsibilities.
In general, married patients and those with stronger social and support networks fare better during serious illness. These findings underscore how important it is to support couples where spouses face a life-changing diagnosis. Many programs and support groups exist to help couples in this situation. For more, visit the resources in Further Reading.
(Photo credit: Depressed and lonely by Luis Sarabia. CC BY 2.0. Cropped.)
Further Reading
American Cancer Society: For spouses, family and friends
American Cancer Society: Online communities and support
Memorial Sloan Kettering Recommended links: Emotional support
References:
Glantz, M. J., et al. (2013). Gender disparity in the rate of partner abandonment in patients with serious medical illness. Cancer, 115, 5237-42. http://dx.doi.org/10.1002/cncr.24577
(Originally published in a slightly different form as: Church, C. (2013). Cancer and serious illness and divorce. [Radio broadcast episode]. Family Album Radio. Gainesville, FL: University of Florida.)
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