By Carol Church, Writer, Family Album

Reviewed by Kate Fogarty, PhD, Department of Family, Youth, and Community Sciences, University of Florida, and Suzanna Smith, PhD, Department of Family, Youth, and Community Sciences, University of Florida

On a typical day, do you text your spouse or partner? Perhaps you ask him or her to pick up some milk or send a quick “I love you.” Or maybe you message back and forth for a long time. Though not all couples text, this method of communication has gotten really common, especially among younger people. In fact, data show that teens today use their phones to text much more than they use them to actually talk to each other!

With all this in mind, relationship scientists writing in the Journal of Couple and Relationship Therapy recently studied the possible effects that various types of texting might have on relationship quality in couples.

All those in the study were between the ages of 18 and 25, and most were either engaged or in long-term relationships. Men and women were asked how frequently they texted their partners, and how often they did so to express affection, deal with relationship concerns, or even to try to hurt him or her.

As you’d probably expect, using texts to express affection improved attachment for both men and women. And being on the receiving end of hurtful texts was damaging to both men’s and women’s relationships.

Meanwhile, sending texts to try to work on or seriously discuss aspects of the relationship also didn’t seem to be a very good idea, for men or for women.

When it came to texting frequency, the findings were interesting. Women who texted their partners a lot felt especially stable in their relationships. But men who frequently texted their partners were less satisfied, and so were their partners.

This research seems to suggest that texting to express affection is a great idea, but that trying to discuss serious relationship topics just isn’t. And sending hurtful comments via text definitely wasn’t a great plan! In other words, save the difficult conversations for face to face, but send those cute little hearts and smileys all you like.

(Photo credit: Texting emoji by Intel Free Press. CC BY 2.0.)

References:

Schade, L. C., Sandberg, J., Bean, R., Busby, D., & Coyne, S. (2013). Using technology to connect in romantic relationships: effects on attachment, relationship satisfaction, and stability in emerging adults. Journal of Couple & Relationship Therapy: Innovations in Clinical and Educational Interventions, 12(4), 314-338. http://dx.doi.org/10.1080/15332691.2013.836051

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