By Lynda Spence, Family & Consumer Sciences Extension Agent at UF/IFAS Extension-Marion County
Reviewed by Martie Gillen, PhD, Department of Family, Youth, and Community Sciences, University of Florida
This post is in honor of Single Parents’ Day, celebrated every March 21st.
Separation and divorce strike hard at the wallet! When a marriage breaks up, one household budget gets divided into two. The first year after the divorce is often when the financial burden is the greatest. If you are going through a divorce, sensible planning may help to lessen the financial stress associated with this transition.
Involving Your Children
Two households are generally more expensive to maintain than one. Children may already understand this concept, or you may need to explain it to them. Studies suggest children do better managing their finances as adults when they are not kept in the dark about money when they are young.
Generally, children want to be part of a solution if they are given the opportunity. They feel encouraged when they know their ideas are valued. Talk openly with your children about the need for budget adjustments. The extent of detail you provide to your children will depend on your situation, your child, and your level of comfort talking about money. To learn more about how to talk with your family about money, read Coping with a Money Crunch: Family Cooperation, from UF-IFAS. Ask your children for suggestions and make some of your own. For example, a four-year-old child can help save on the electricity bill by turning lights out when no one is in the room.
Goal Setting and Prioritizing
Antoine de Saint Exupéry, the author of the much-adored book The Little Prince, ever-so-wisely stated, “A goal without a plan is just a wish.” Help your family make their wishes come to fruition by showing them how to make a goal plan. Enlist support from older children to keep the family on track. For example, ask them to help you complete a Goal Chart. To create your chart, make four columns and label them as follows:
1.) Financial goal
2.) Total cost
3.) Cost per month and
4.) Target date for goal completion.
In the first column, make sure the goal is described in great detail. The more specifics you include, the more tangible the goal becomes. For the second column, have your children help you research the cost of the goal. Involving them in the reality of the actual cost will help when it comes to getting “buy-in” from them. For column three, let the kids do the math. Here is where the rubber meets the road. This is the step where they will learn about the old adage “The numbers don’t lie.”
The last column is the most important one. By setting a deadline, you automatically leave the starting gate. Make sure the deadline is realistic, factoring in time for unexpected events and expenses.
Keep Trying
Although you may be living on a reduced income after a divorce, don’t give up on your financial objectives. Continue to save for your short- and long-term goals, even if you have to dramatically reduce what you are setting aside. Over time, small amounts really do add up. Review and adjust your goals periodically to keep them in line with your current situation. And remember, when you involve your children, they’ll learn great lessons about goal setting and attainment. To learn more about developing a SMART Goal Plan, check out Building a Spending Plan, from UF-IFAS.
Women and Divorce
In some cases, women facing divorce may need particular help. To learn more about women and personal finance, check out these publications from UF-IFAS: Women and Money : Unique Issues.
(Photo credit: Wallet with Cash by 401(K) 2012. CC BY 2.0.)
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