Mentoring Language- How to Use It Effectively

Using appropriate language within your mentor relationship is vital to ensuring the relationship is open and positive. There are seven categories that can help you foster effective language when mentoring a new employee. Here are some helpful tips per category that will help you build meaningful conversations with your mentee:

Paraphrasing and Clarifying:
Mentors can use paraphrasing and clarifying techniques that communicate to the mentee that you have listened carefully, understood what was said, and clarifies any misunderstandings. Mediational questions help bring about new understanding by posing questions that could help to extend thinking.

Example of what not to do: Okay, sounds good.
How you can fix it: It sounds like…, that sounds great!

Mediational Questions:
This style of questioning helps to bring about a new understanding by posing questions that could help to extend thinking.

Example of what not to do: “But why did you do that?”
How you can fix it: What is another way you might…, What would it look like if…, What do you think would happen if…

Non Judgmental Responses:
Non-Judgmental responses show that the listener is open-minded and interested. These responses help to build trust and encourage self-assessment.

Example of what not to do: This should be fine…
How you can fix it: I am really looking forward to… I noticed when you ___, the learners really____

Suggestions:
Suggestions are to be expressed with invitational and a positive tone. These suggestions should offer choices to encourage ownership. Suggestion stems express ideas that represent using strategic practices and encourage experimentation.

Example of what not to do: You need to do this…
How you can fix it: Perhaps…Some educators have tried ___ in this situation, and maybe this one might work for you

Teachable Moments:
Teachable moments are opportunities to give the mentor an entry point to encourage the mentee or fill in any gaps. This allows a learning experience for the mentee and a teaching experience for the mentor. 

Examples of what not to do: You need to think about this…
How you can fix it: One thing to keep in mind is…, What I know about _____ is

Attitudes for Effective Listening:
Attitudes for effective listening communicates that the listener is respectful and focused on building the relationship. Effective listening can be defined as is the practice of preparing to listen, observing what verbal and non-verbal messages are being sent, and then providing appropriate feedback for the sake of showing attentiveness to the message being presented.

Effective Listening Involves:
– Truly hearing the other persons thoughts
– Viewing the other person as separate from yourself with alternative ways of seeing what you may see

Mentor Challenge: Next time you meet with your mentee, incorporate two of these language categories into your conversations.

The mission of the Program Development and Evaluation Center (PDEC) is to add value to UF/IFAS Extension through improved program development and evaluation processes and the enhancement of professional competencies based on the science of Extension. 

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