What We Look for in a Partner: How Has it Changed Over Time?

By Amanda Stafford, student, Department of Family, Youth and Community Sciences, University of Florida; Suzanna Smith, PhD, Department of Family, Youth, and Community Sciences, University of Florida; and Victor Harris, PhD, Department of Family, Youth, and Community Sciences, University of Florida
Reviewed by Suzanna Smith, PhD, Department of Family, Youth, and Community Sciences, University of Florida

Have you ever asked your grandparents how they met and compared it to how you and your partner first met? The way men and women view finding a potential life partner has certainly changed – or has it?

Researchers in the North American Journal of Psychology asked about 250 university students to rank 18 characteristics they look for in a mate. Responses were compared to multiple other studies that had used this same survey over the past 60 years to see how traits people find desirable in a mate have changed through the generations.

Between the first survey and the most recent one in 2012, men’s rankings shifted considerably. Desire for home and children, neatness, and being a good cook and housekeeper declined in importance to men, while education and intelligence, being sociable, having a similar religion, and good looks became more crucial.

Today’s women share some of these preferences, placing more emphasis than in the past on education and intelligence, having a similar religion, and good looks. Finding someone who is ambitious and hardworking is also more crucial to women today.

But some rankings didn’t change much over the years. Dependability, emotional stability, and mutual attraction and love continue to rank in the top 5 most important traits.

So, the next time your grandparents talk about why they were first drawn to one another, don’t assume their story is so different from your own. While society changes, love, mutual attraction, and being able to count on each other continue to guide what we look for in a partner.

(Image credit: Wedding (Inside) by The Integer Club. CC license.)

Reference:

Henry, J., Helm, H. W., & Cruz, N. (2013). Mate selection: Gender and generational differences. North American Journal of Psychology, 15(1), 63-70.

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Posted: December 30, 2013


Category: Relationships & Family, Work & Life
Tags: Health And Wellness, Healthy Relationships


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